Back to work: looking after myself...

I don't get enough sleep. I drink more coffee than I would like. I probably don't eat enough vegetables. I don't take the time to stretch or strengthen my muscles.

And I'm now working and Jimmy is still breastfeeding.

And I have a cold. It's not a bad one, the one I had while Grandma was here was worse, but I've still had to take time off work. There is a little of the changing seasons involved, putting another stress on my body, but it is the second cold I've had in a month and that's not cool.

So, what can I do? I can start by looking after me. As far as balancing my needs and my role as a mum, I think I have a fairly healthy balance (but I could still do with more sleep). Adding work into the mix has shaken things up and I need to rethink things.

Last week we started with Jimmy's night-time breastfeeding, mostly in response to two sleepless nights were I swear he spent more time feeding than sleeping and I don't sleep while he's breastfeeding, it just doesn't happen anymore. With Michael's help and support Jimmy is down to one night time feed, which happens around 3-4 am (I'm not including the bedtime breastfeeding or the first-thing-in-the-morning breastfeeding). The first few nights were rough, but now Jimmy is happy to have hugs when he wakes around midnight and he goes back to sleep. I'm calling it a win, but that 3-4 am breastfeed needs to go too... but it can wait a few more days.

Next on the list is my bedtime... I remember being good about sticking to a bedtime in highschool, but my parents might tell a different story. Whatever routine I had went out the window in the first few years of university and I just haven't managed to stick to a reasonable bedtime. It's always after 11 pm and it hasn't been working. Not for a very long time. Longer than I would like to admit. I went to bed a little after 10 pm last night, and it was good. A 10 pm bedtime is the dream, there is something magic about that number, at least in my head, and I'm beginning to think I really, really need to make it a priority and goal.

So, reducing Jimmy's night-time breastfeeding and going to bed earlier will help me get more sleep (and reduce my coffee intake somewhat). Now, for the veggies...

When I was at home, looking after Jimmy, we ate the same things, not always balanced but I think I was eating more as a stay-at-home-mum than I have been of late. There's point in the afternoons when I start getting sugar cravings, or protein cravings, and I'm hungry. I have been using coffee to fill this gap. Coffee with creamer... and it's a little gross. Tasty but gross. And when I get home and open the fridge, I see our jar of kimchi and all I can think about is hot rice, runny eggs, soy sauce, and kimchi. After eating about three bowls of rice, kimchi, and boiled eggs yesterday I think I have the craving quenched, but the combination now set to become my work afternoon tea.

Hopefully these steps (a little weaning, earlier to bed, a little more veg and protein) are what I need to start look after myself as the new normal stops needing the "new". A little more energy will make everything a little easier and get me out of bed early enough to do some stretches and see me through the afternoon slump.

Back to work: getting into the swing of things...

We're keeping our heads above water, so to speak, the return to "normal" has taken a little adjusting to but we're getting there...

There have been nights with not enough sleep, mornings with Jimmy making a fuss about not wanting to go to school, teary drop offs, big hugs in the afternoon, lots of coffee consumed, tears shed, I fell off my bike and grazed my knee, there has been a distinct reduction in photos taken, and autumn is in the air...

Well... autumn has only just arrived, but there are signs of it everywhere from Halloween decorations to sunflowers everywhere and the tallgrass doing its thing...

Our new normal is still a work-in-progress but we're getting there. Hopefully the decreasing hours of daylight wont throw us out too much, hopefully none of us get sick, and hopefully a few more posts because there's a backlog that goes right back to the County Fair (oooops!).

Watch this space, more soon, mostly photos. (Note to self: take more photos.)

Back to work: Jimmy's first week at daycare...

Or "school", as they call it...

This story really starts on the Friday before Jimmy started full-time at school. Friday morning, around 9am, after taking the above photo, I took Jimmy to school, told him I would pick him up after lunch, made sure that he was suitably engaged in something and left. Naturally, I did leave a few supplies for the "teachers", a change of clothes, a few nappies diapers, and a change of shoes because you never know.

Two hours without Jimmy... what was I to do? Meh, some chores. Meanwhile, Jimmy was having a great time "mowing" the lawn.

When I walked in while they were eating lunch, Jimmy didn't notice me. I sat down opposite him and saw his tired little face. Then he looked at me...

"It's Mummy."

No tears of relief, no jumping into my lap. None of that. He kept eating, asked for more food, ate that. He was fairly hungry it seemed. Hungry and tired and happy. He slept for nearly 3 hours when we returned home.

When I sat next to him I noticed that yes, his shoes had been changed. I also remember how small those shoes were getting, which is why we had an adventure the next day.

In addition to that adventure, there was a pillow to make, spare clothes to organise, sunscreen to decant (they didn't need the whole bottle), a packet of pull-up nappies diapers to pack... And a little boy to make a fuss over, so that he knew that he is loved even if he's not around us.

I mostly made a fuss about the pillow and the fact that it was for his naps, that I was making it especially for him, and that it has a cool feature or two. Don't worry, I think I managed not to overwhelm my little boy.

Jimmy knew something was up on Monday morning. He wasn't sure what to make of all the fuss we were making, trying to get him ready and out the door at the same time as Daddy. When we arrived, all 3 of us, he did his best to follow us out, saying that he wanted to go into the area we had to walk through to leave the building. There were a few tears, but I was told that he settled down after 5-10 minutes. When we picked Jimmy up, he looked over his shoulder and, after being questioned by a teacher, said:

"It's Daddy."

And kept doing what he was doing. Then he saw me.

"It's Mummy."

No fuss. Clearly he had had a good day.

The next morning was the real test. And he didn't want to go through the door. He was not having a bar of it. But Michael and I managed to get him into his room. We managed to say bye-bye without tears and the second Jimmy was distracted, we ran for it. 

When I picked him up that afternoon I was met with the same level of cool recognition. Clearly another good day. I think the highlight was painting "dinosaur skin", because Jimmy has never painted before - I take full responsibility for that.

Wednesday? Jimmy woke up and started talking about paint and painting - clearly it was an exciting event. Another thing Jimmy likes is riding Daddy's bike, and he wanted to ride it to school, but Daddy was in a rush, so that didn't happen. From memory the drop off went well. Michael did indeed pick Jimmy up that afternoon and Jimmy did get to ride on Daddy's bike. So far, so good.

Thursday... Well... Daddy was under instructions to have Jimmy in his swimming gear at drop off because they would be playing with water that morning. Well... Jimmy was most put out by this change in routine. Oh man... it was a struggle to get him into his swimmers and out the door, but we did it. And the Jimmy and I arrived and it turned out that they weren't even sure that they would be doing anything with water, especially as it was a cool morning. Well... all that fuss and bother for nothing... I changed Jimmy into normal clothes, including his fruit shorts, which he had been wearing all week, because they are his favourite shorts. And after a few minutes Jimmy was into the swing of it, and he even blew me a kiss and waved bye-bye. Sweet, sweet boy. 

Daddy picked him up again. And they had played with water! And Jimmy was so, so tired. He wasn't interested in his dinner. He was keen to vacuum. He was not going to have a bath or a shower, nope, no chance. I managed to brush his teeth and then he was in bed by 8pm, which for summer is unheard of. He was exhausted. And running a little hot... 

But on Friday morning Jimmy woke up and was kicking his legs about and asking to watch Gummi Bears. He wasn't sick. Just worn out. Phew... Friday's drop off was rather long... I don't know why, but it was. It might have had a lot to do with me not leaving at exactly the same time as Daddy, or it could have been that Jimmy was just over it. Overtired. Overwhelmed by the week. Over being away from Mummy. Over it. But I managed to leave and he wasn't crying, so that was good.

I told his teachers that I was going to pick him up early, so when I did arrive Jimmy was wearing his backpack and hat and ready to go home - the night before I had decided that if Jimmy wasn't sick, then I would pick him up early, after naptime, and we could watch Gummi Bears and eat popcorn at home. And we did. 

Jimmy seemed to enjoy school, and even though he was tired for most of the week, and wasn't happy to see us leave each morning, I think he enjoyed himself. It's now nearly the end of his second week and he seems to be fairly settled into the daycare, which is great, because Jimmy really didn't have much choice but to like it. So, we're good. At least as far as daycare choice.

Back to work: choosing a daycare...

This is not a guide for choosing a daycare. This is our approach to finding a daycare for Jimmy, given our set of circumstances and given our circumstances, we really didn't have much choice, but here goes... because ch-ch-ch-changes...

Let's start with an observation:

At the county playgroup there numerous children under the age of 2 who are there with a grandparent, because the parent/s have to work. I thought it was lovely that the children were spending time with a grandparent and not some unrelated carer at a daycare. I'm sure the grandparents were enjoying themselves too, but...

But some friends had been in this situation, with the maternal grandmother looking after her only grandchild. She really seemed to love looking after the baby and the baby loved it too. But the situation was less than ideal: the maternal grandparents were now separated by an ocean and the maternal grandmother could not stay forever. The problem was a lack of daycare spaces for the child's age group - it still is. The child is under 2.

I started looking at the grandparents at playgroup in a different light. Sure, they still loved being with their grandchildren, but they were making a sacrifice because there are so few daycare places for the under 2s.

...

Way back in January, while my sister Asha was visiting, the nearby daycare had an Open House (Open Day for the Australians out there) and we visited. I even put Jimmy on their waiting list, to start April/May. They never called and that was ok.

And then May came around, and we were still in Manhattan, KS, and I lined up work and suddenly we had to seriously start thinking about daycare for Jimmy. Ep!

We have one really, really big constraint when it comes to where to send Jimmy: we don't own a car. For day-to-day living not owning a car is fine, but the instant we want to travel anywhere that is not covered by the bus routes or within walking distance, we either need to travel with friends who own cars or one of us stays behind with Jimmy while the other bikes.

So, requirement 1: daycare must be accessible by foot or bus.

This left us with 2 options. The nearby daycare and the K-State one. We had seen both before actually needing either of them.

I called the nearby one and Jimmy was placed on the waiting list - there was no mention of how many children were between him and the next available spot. Feeling a little lost, and reluctant, I took my time getting around to calling the K-State daycare.

Well! Firstly the person I spoke to couldn't help me, but was able to take my number so that someone who could would be able to get back to me in 48 hours. It took this person nearly a week to call me back (not impressed), then she referred me to information on their website (already read), and informed me that there was a fee of $30 to join the waitlist (already read that), and then she informed me that the waiting list was 17 children long. Seventeen! I said no thank you and ended the conversation.

One daycare option. One.

Our backup plan was to have my Dad (aka Pop) come for a few months and look after Jimmy for us, but I really, really wanted Jimmy to go to a local daycare because I felt (and still feel) that the socialisation is really important. I also really, really wanted to have my Dad look after Jimmy because they would have a blast together, just like the other children being looked after by their grandparents.

I did look into a few other places, places that we could take Jimmy if we bought a bike trailer, but one was not actually a daycare, and the other one doesn't take children under 2.5 years.

Sigh...

The situation out of our control, we waited and hoped. My parents started devising contingency plans for my Dad's visit.

Then, one day, while Jimmy and I were at the library with some friends, I received an unexpected phone call that started like this:

"Hello, this is XXX from XXX, can I speak to James?"

"Ahhh... He's two. He's not very good on the phone and he's got his mouth full."

"Can I speak to his mother?"

"Speaking."

"We have an opening for James." 

In my disbelief at what had actually transpired in the conversation I hoped I had correctly remembered the time for our appointment. I could not believe our luck - this was the only place we had Jimmy on a waiting list. 

The only one.

If it was a physical thing, I would have grabbed it and not known if I should hold it tightly so that it couldn't slip away or hold it gently so as not to damage our chances of keeping the spot.

I handed over the registration cheque the day after our first visit as actual clients. Even though I was a little unsure that I would actually receive my work permit, but I also wanted to make sure that Jimmy would be looked after and cared for before I could commit to working.

I still can't believe our luck.

This particular daycare might be within easy walking distance of our apartment, and, although it is apparently one of the more expensive daycares in town, we don't need a car or bus to get Jimmy there. This makes the cost worth it.

Jimmy is yet to spend a full day there, but he seems comfortable there: he wants to play in the playground; he's walked off with the director while I was filling in some paperwork, they left the room, walked into another room, and were gone for about 5 minutes; last week, while dropping off the paperwork (egads! this is happening), Jimmy spent 20 minutes in his 'classroom' while I was in the director's office and he didn't seem to mind that I had been away. I think he'll have a great time there, at least most of the time.

Jimmy will start there next week and then we'll know if the most important requirement for selecting a daycare is met: it must be a good fit for Jimmy. I'm not entirely sure what we'll do if he doesn't like it there. Michael and I are a little freaked out at the idea of a non-family member looking after Jimmy, but the daycare staff are professionals, trained in childcare, first aid and CPR.

Fingers crossed that Jimmy likes being there full-time. With everything else falling into place for my return to the workforce, a happy Jimmy in daycare is now the most important thing to ensure. Fingers crossed. Now, to get things organised for Monday... Ep!