No! Don't take a photo of me!

And the inevitable has happened. Actually it happened a little over a month ago - Jimmy got upset when I pointed my camera in his face and he said "No! Don't take a photo!". It's not the first time he's told me not to take his photo, but it's becoming firmer and firmer and the response to a lack of respect of his wishes results in a rather upset, agitated, and no-longer-focused-on-the-task Jimmy.

So, we now have to ask him for permission to take his photo. He knows what happens to them, he knows we put photos up on the internet for our friends to see. He knows we do it because we think he's awesome and want to share his awesomeness as well as we can, but I think he's had enough of the near constant photos.

We have been taking a lot of photos of him since he was born, so I think it's fair enough that he wants some control over this situation. It's cool. He's exerting control where he can, and being photographed (or not) is one thing he can control. It's also not worth the effort to press him for a photo when he says "no".

It's a matter of respect and trust, and we get much nicer photos when we ask him if we can take his photo than when we try to sneakily take his photo. It's just not worth it.

This is not the reason why I've been erratic with the 52 Project posts, but it is in part the reason why I wont be continuing with it next year. There are other reasons why Jimmy will be here less and less, that have nothing to do with his interest in being photographed (or lack thereof), but I will save those reasons for another post.

Reading: Winnie-the Pooh...

When given the opportunity to purchase some books, thanks to a generous Grandma for the gift voucher and willing Granny & Pop for storing them until we returned to Australia, I bought Jimmy a copy of The Complete Winnie-the Pooh, which is two books in one: Winnie-the Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner. My parents have both these books, but the 1950-something editions are very well loved and I would hate to damage them, so a new edition it was.

And I have loved reading it to Jimmy! His first introduction to Winnie-the Pooh, Christopher Robin, and the others, was through an old Disney movie, which made the book approachable. He seemed to grasp the idea of chapters, although there was a lot of reading to him as he fell asleep, and was able to engage with the characters. I'm not sure if my parents read Winnie-the Pooh to me and my siblings, but the cartoon was a favourite of Asha's. It's a classic.

But do not read the last chapter of the House at Pooh Corner. DO NOT. At least, not until your child is 5 or 6 years old and understands concepts like Knights, and Kings, and Brazil. It confused Jimmy and he wanted me to stop reading the final pages, but I persisted. I had to. I was going to cry anyway, so why not finish it?

When I think of Winnie the Pooh, I think of the lovable, silly old bear, who makes up funny songs and is best friends with the timid Piglet. Pooh Bear has other friends, old and newer, and they all adore Christopher Robin. There is a naivety and simplicity and beauty to the story.

That is, until Christopher Robin starts growing up and stop "doing nothing" and all his companions, save Pooh, drift away into the Forest, after they deliver a heartbreaking note.

It's not about death, but it is because it's about an end, or the beginning of an end: the beginning of the end of a child's softness. I'm all for looking out into the world, but the gentleness of Winnie the Pooh is needed out there - perhaps that is why, of all Christopher's childhood companions, he takes the silly old bear.

After finishing the book, I cried. Jimmy didn't quite understand that why I was crying over Knights and Kings and Factors and "looking out into the world" or the Enchanted Place. But I couldn't help myself.

And while I was still recovering, I tucked my little boy in his not-so-little bed while my old bear. We disagree on the bear's name, but that's ok because that soft bear is now Jimmy's. Like Christopher Robin, I took my bear with me beyond early childhood, and as Christopher Robin promises Pooh, I will still remember my old bear when I'm 100, should I be lucky enough to reach that age. I hope Jimmy takes his "new" old bear with him as he makes the journey from the softness of early childhood and into the less soft early school years. And I hope that the softness of Winnie the Pooh, and all his friends, can continue to provide a little softness into the world.

A toothy subject...

Nope. It's not 2-year-old molars. It's actual biting.

Jimmy being bitten to be specific.

Yeah. Not. Cool.

After work yesterday, Michael and I went to pick Jimmy up from daycare school*. He was happily playing in a different room with a few of his classmates** and he was happy to see Daddy. I was chatting with one of the teachers, picking up Jimmy's things.

I looked over the wall that separates the two class rooms*** and Jimmy saw me. His face light up and he was excited to see me. I asked if he was ready to go home. He said "YES!" and stood up.

Now, while this was happening, the only other child in the room was trying to close the door, but it's tricky. It's a little bolt (there are bolts on each side - because toddlers), so he was fiddling with it.

Jimmy rushed to the door because he was ready to go home. He stood next to this child and I heard him say:

"No, don't..."

Now, it was either "don't go out there" or "don't! I'm going out there"...

Jimmy brushed the child's hand away and then Jimmy screamed.

He bellowed! He clutched the inside of his right elbow and cried.

The teachers quickly asked if Jimmy had been bitten. I told them that I hadn't seen any biting, that I'd seen the other child's face the whole time. It was probably a nasty pinch.

Michael scooped Jimmy up into his arms and we all saw the teeth marks. Totally not cool. The appropriate fuss was made over Jimmy and he was given an "ice pack", a small, wet square of sponge in a ziplock bag that had been frozen.

Everyone made a suitable fuss over Jimmy and I expressed understanding because these things happen. They shouldn't, but they do. The biter was taken out of that room and set down in front of the playground door****.

It took Jimmy about 30 mins to really get over it and then he was back to his usual self.

But this is the second time this has happened in the last week and Jimmy has been a little clingy at drop off since that event. And he was clingy at this morning's drop off. The teachers have been really good about this, but it's sad that a place Jimmy has felt safe at is now somewhere where he has felt unsafe.

And it's not his fault! Ok, so he can be bossy assertive and he is bigger and older than the biter, so the biter may have felt threatened, may have been tired, but violence is not acceptable and is never the solution.

The biter has recently started at the school and is not coping. There are any number of reasons the biter did what they did. I'm not trying to excuse the behaviour, I'm trying to understand it. These are children and they are learning so much, it can be tough and when they are overwhelmed they act out.

It might help Jimmy if he understands why the biter acts out the way they do, not so that Jimmy can tip-toe around them but so that Jimmy might help the biter feel safe at school and be less likely to bite other students. If Jimmy and the biter were a few years older, it would be possible to explain to Jimmy that making friends with the biter would help the biter settle into their new normal.

I want Jimmy to understand that the biter might have felt threatened but I don't know how to do this without it coming over as victim blaming. I want Jimmy to understand that if the biter did feel threatened there might be better ways to interact with them (without tip-toeing). And I want Jimmy to understand that we all deal with stress and perceived confrontation in different ways - and that some methods are more acceptable than others.

As the biter is younger than Jimmy, making both of them 2 years old, I think the situation requires understanding and compassion towards both parties. As parents though, we are fairly removed from what happens at the school, we have to leave the majority of the conflict-resolution to the teachers. The current status is "keep them apart" and Michael and I told Jimmy that he can avoid the biter.

I would be mortified if Jimmy bit another child and I don't know how we would address it, especially after the fact, which is usually how it happens with school. It's easy enough to explain things in the moment (yes, Jimmy has bitten me, but I'm his mum, it's not cool but it's different), but at 2 years old, talking about things that happened a few hours ago can be tricky.

Fingers crossed this situation blows over and the biter settles in (and loses that title). In the meantime, any advice would be greatly appreciated.


*They call everything from daycare to university "school". It creates a little confusion. Oh well.
**We roll with this "school" theme.
***There are three classrooms in the one room, separated by chest-height barriers, i.e. storage, shelving, and change tables. There are little, hip-height doors between the different classrooms (and a security door as the main entrance) and Jimmy's classroom has a door to the playground.
****A "sit down" is what they call it. It works best when the classroom is full and the naughty child has to sit out on the fun activities until they show an understanding that they have shown something to upset one of their classmates. It's good because the naughty child is missing out because of something they did, it's very gentle yet still makes the naughty child upset. In an empty classroom the biter was not put out.

Two

We celebrated Jimmy's second birthday last week. I would ask someone to pinch me, but Jimmy is so different from a newborn, so different from a crawling baby, and so different from an early walker.

The sounds that come out of his mouth are different too. Surprise, surprise. He imitates and copies, and if we're not careful he might start sounding like Ron Weasley, if Michael and I keep saying "bloody hell"...

We had a great day making a fuss over our little boy. The night before, Michael and I set up a tunnel outside the bedroom door and scattered Jimmy's presents throughout. We have built tunnels like this enough times that Jimmy knew what to do, and made for the emergency exit after opening his first present.

For breakfast there were strawberries and blueberries, just like last year, and this year there was cake. Wholemeal, almond meal, and honey, plus the usual eggs and flour etc. It was his birthday, and birthdays mean lots of cake, as far as I'm concerned, especially if it can pretend to be a healthy one.

There was a trip to the library, and one of Jimmy's presents (a matchbox car) joined us AND returned home - win! And there was a trip to Arrow, naturally. We were there after 5pm, and, because we didn't warn them the day before, they were all out of monkey bread... But Daddy was there before Jimmy and I, and so, the lovely staff at Arrow made some fresh monkey bread for Jimmy! What a birthday present! Even if Jimmy was unaware of the special treatment, Michael and I felt the love.

We took the monkey bread outside to do the whole blowing-out-the-candles thing (because none of us were sure it was ok to do it inside), and Jimmy was able to get up close and interactive - no burns, no fires, he was O.K. Then we went inside to enjoy the treat and the aircon.

Not that it was that hot. Once we were done, we head home, via our favourite footpath. And even though we had a gallon of milk to get into the fridge, we stopped at this little playground for a few slides.

A few... well... it was more like one slide and a bit of running around and investigating the equipment. It's a cute, well thought out playground. It just needs some shade cloth, and to be closer to home, and it would be perfect.

Slides are serious business. So is that tshirt Jimmy's wearing - it's a birthday present and it's just the loveliest cotton, soft and substantial and it's turning out to be a favourite already.

We fed a very tired boy pizza and more cake for dinner. Oh he was tired, but he knew what to do when we presented him with candles and started singing. He stayed up rather late, but that was ok because it was his birthday, and he had to have a red bath, just like Bunny.

Thank you so very much Granny & Pop, Grandma, Grauntie L, Auntie K, and CF & R for Jimmy birthday presents - Michael and I have been in denial, and reluctant to add anything to the list of things we need to bring back/give away, so we haven't actually given him a present yet. He is thoroughly enjoying all his presents, they are new and exciting and extending his knowledge and skills, and the clothes will come in handy.

And thank you Michael, for being Jimmy's Dad, for taking photos and letting me use them here, and for doing almost all of the tunnel building.

If you haven't read already read it, here's Jimmy's birth story.

No, I still can't quite believe it's been two years. Happy birthday little man!!

Jimmy's first real haircut...

My beautiful, scruffy boy... His first haircut wasn't a proper one... And Daddy has been keen to remove the rest of the curls and scruff ever since. Me? I love those soft baby curls, the hair that is baby soft because it has never known scissors, all that hair that has appeared in the last 12 months.

Oh that hair! But I agreed that it was time. So the other evening, between our late afternoon swim and dinner, Michael and I went about the task of cutting Jimmy's hair.

We used the balcony because it would be easier to clean up the hairs, and strapped Jimmy into his highchair, used an old swaddle and some bulldog clips to cover him, and chocolate and raspberries to keep him happy.

Michael insisted on cutting Jimmy's hair, and as I had done the very, very first cuts, it was only fair that I stepped back and picked up the camera.

I suggested to Michael that he cut the hair around Jimmy's ears first, because it's recommended by the professionals (and it rings true to me after years of cutting the family dog's hair), and Michael did follow that suggestion. He ditched the comb pretty quickly... It was my suggestion to use it... But that comb is no good for helping with haircuts.

Jimmy was happy so long as he had raspberries or chocolate to eat and quickly prompted me for more treats when he had finished his last mouthful.

Those curls are gone... I was really enjoying those curls...

Once he had cut most of Jimmy's hair, Michael asked me to cut Jimmy's fringe and I may have done a little trimming as quickly as I could. There wasn't much hair to cut a fringe... Now there's even less.

That's Jimmy's "more chocolate" face on the left, and because I wanted to do one last trim around his ears Jimmy received his chocolate. See right for Jimmy's "hmmmm chocolate" face.

Done! I don't know how long it actually took us to cut Jimmy's hair, but I do know that he ate a lot of chocolate for a little boy, plus a lot of raspberries, followed by a fair amount of pasta for dinner.

The next day, Jimmy's haircut looked a little more Jimmy-esk, a little more scruffy, but a cleancut version. As sad as I am that the baby curls are gone, I do like the new haircut. Jimmy seems to like it too. How about you?


All photos taken by myself or Michael.

A matter of personal taste...

A few months back I moved Jimmy clothes around in his set of hanging shelves, because it was time to give him access to the clothes he wears daily.

Why? Well...

Jimmy is a headstrong little boy, has been since the get-go, and we deal with it by letting him have his way when it is safe for him to do what he wants. And this extends to clothes.

We started by offering him a choice of two tops, followed by two pants, and we would ask him to choose which one he wanted to wear. And it worked for a while: getting him dressed didn't take too long, and he could feel he had some say in the matter. Win-win.

Some days the result was rather coordinated and subdued, and on other days the result was fun and loud.

There would be occasional day when we might ask Jimmy what colour top he wanted to wear. He would say "green!" because it was the colour he could say at the time, so we would get him a green top.

"No green top!"

"What colour top do you want to wear?"

"Blue."

"Ok, here's a blue top."

"No, not that blue top."

This exchange would continue another round or two or more, usually ending with Jimmy actually wearing an orange or red top. He may or may not have actually wanted to wear the orange or red top, but after 5 minutes going through each and every top in his collection, and explaining that the other red top was dirty and in the wash, we had to settle for something.

So, these days Jimmy mostly chooses his own clothes. This results in some interesting outcomes. He's a toddler and it's allowed. Actually, I think it's expected. The photo at the top of this entry shows three outfits and the ones on the left and the right are ones I had picked out for Jimmy, a few days before taking the photo. The outfit in the middle is all Jimmy. Clearly that lovely warm jumper is a "top".

Jimmy likes strips, bright colours, prints, and anything with pockets. He's not afraid to wear red with coral, he doesn't mind if his pants are turning into capris, and his go-to shoes are his dinosaur gum rain boots. He's quite happy to wear his rain coat when it's cool and windy, but he doesn't like how his hat flops over his eyes. 

I'm not beyond vetoing Jimmy's selections. The lovely warm jumper? Vetoed - Jimmy would have been far too hot that day. But for the most part, Jimmy has pretty good taste, even if what he wants to wear is not what I would have picked. And that's ok, because he's allowed to dress however he wants - he's the one wearing the clothes.

Jump!

 It started with jumping off the bed, which wasn't exactly jumping... 

It was more of a step-and-stumble affair... 

And it kept going... He started improving... 

Then he started actually jumping - both feet off the bed at once... 

 And he started getting some height... Now he is cheeky about it...

It is wonderful that he is confident in his ability to jump...

And now Jimmy is jumping of everything he possibly can: boxes, retaining walls, the bottom of slides, stairs, Daddy... 

I love this age.

All photos taken by Michael.

Over the weekend we...

Went to a friend (and neighbours') birthday party. It was an adult birthday party, starting at 7pm, about 20 guests, sangria, music, food, and enough candles on cakes to know that we were celebrating an important birthday. And, because the birthday girl and her husband live just downstairs from us, we had no qualms about going, with Jimmy in tow. And it was the right thing to do. Why? Well:

• Firstly, we take Jimmy almost everywhere with us, he has never had a babysitter, so he's used to the occasional late night out with Mum and Daddy and friends.
• Secondly, the birthday girl and her husband are smitten with Jimmy, and he's a little taken with them too, so there would have been disappointment all around, had we left Jimmy at home, with a sitter or taken it in turns being at home with him.
• And thirdly, with the party being just down stairs Michael or I could take Jimmy home when he was done and ready for bed. 

When we went downstairs, to the party, we were not the first to arrive, but we were there before most of the other guests, which allowed Jimmy to warm to the environment and the other guests. He was clingy to start with, and hungry, but after devouring the grapes and tasting the cheeses and lots of time in my arms, he was ready to work the room.

And work the room he did! Everyone was completely taken with Jimmy. Some were impressed by how friendly he was, others couldn't believe that he was eating broccoli without hesitation, others were blown away by how much love he could convey in the word "Mum". I'm pretty sure this all means that Michael and I are doing a good job as parents.

I don't remember what time we went home, but it was late. A few guests had already gone, and, with a little help from Daddy, Jimmy was making a little bed for himself on the couch. So, Michael and I gathered up our tired, but happy and very full, little boy and said our goodbyes - Jimmy highfived everyone and gave the birthday girl a little kiss on the cheek (I suggested it quietly to him and helped him lean in, and if he hadn't wanted to, we would have left it at a fistpump and that would have been fine).

On Sunday we were all tired, but fairly happy. We started the day Skyping with a close friend back in Australia who is a new dad. Michael and I are so excited for him and his wife, but we are also sad that we can't be there as they adjust to their new life as parents. Fingers crossed we'll get to meet the little guy before his first birthday.

Our day ended almost as late as Saturday because Jimmy refused to go to sleep. We're not sure why, but he just didn't want to go down. It is possible that he knew it was Sunday, which means Monday is the next day and Daddy goes to work. It is also possibly that he was hoping to relive the previous night. Either way, it was a late night. At least Michael's lunch was already made...

Thanks to Michael for the photo of the birthday cakes, although I take full responsibility for the editing.

What Jimmy is reading...

Jimmy loves books. Really, really loves books. He has a nice little collection of books, but sometimes something new needs to be added. And sometimes we can't afford to buy the new additions, because of funds and because of luggage allowance (we are coming back to Australia at some stage, even if it feels forever away, and can't bring back everything), so we make use of the library...

While shopping for a birthday present for someone else, we came across Alex Schertle's Little Blue Truck, a tale about a friendly little truck, who helps out a big dump truck, only to need a little help himself (herself?) from his/her animal friends. We were attracted by the Jill McElmurry's beautiful illustrations, but moral of the story sealed the deal (we bought the book from Claflin Books, and were able to read the whole story before buying it). Not only is it a lovely book, it's also a great introduction into animal noises, and it started a sound and word explosion to occur in Jimmy. We bought the book in December, and recently Jimmy has been making almost all of the animal noises, along with Little Blue's beep's, the honk's and roooooooom of the Dump Truck. It's a few kinds of cute and awesome.

A not-so-recent trip to the library yielded two very good finds: Room on the Broom; and Walter the Baker. I didn't think about it at the time, but what drew me to both books was the illustrations (again!). It turns out that Room on the Broom is written and illustrated by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler, the pair who put together The Gruffalo, a favourite of Jimmy's that we brought with us. Room on the Broom is just as rhyme-y and fun and brains vs brawn as The Gruffalo, and tells the story of a generous, if somewhat careless, witch who says "Yes!" to a few too many requests by animals to ride on her broom. It almost ends in tears, but the animals come to her aid and save the day. We read it a lot and really, Michael and I didn't mind (too much). Oh and it turns out that the book has its own website and short movie!

Walter the Baker, by Eric Carl, is illustrated in true Carl fashion, and tells the story of a baker who is an excellent baker, held in high favour by the duke and duchess, until one morning when their usual order is messed up (due to the cat spilling the milk used in the bread). Walter must complete the dukes request or be banished from the whole duchy. It all ends happily, and while a little wordy for Jimmy, he still enjoys it - perhaps because he sees me making bread and so understands that I am a little like Walter the Baker. Or Jimmy just likes the pictures, and that's ok too, because they are nice pictures.

Hairy Maclary Scattercat arrived with Granny and Pop, way back in August last year, but it's still on high rotation. I don't know if it's the illustrations (which are lovely), or the story of the naughty Hairy Maclary as he chases the neighbourhood cats and the rhyming and sing-song style of Lynley Dodd, but Jimmy really enjoys Scattercat, and can now point to Hairy Maclary on each page, as he gets ready to disturb the unsuspecting cats. Hairy Maclary gets what's coming to him when he comes across Scarface Claw, and Jimmy recites the last lines that see Hairy Maclary seeking a safe place from the toughest tom in town.

The library books have since been returned and replaced with new ones, and we don't have to decide whether or not to bring back the other two (not to mention all the others we own...). There's still time to decide. And there's still time to find new favourites at the library.

What Jimmy is doing...

I thought it was high time to share some of the things Jimmy has been doing lately, things that are not vacuuming or playing in the snow...

He'll get my camera, turn it on and take photos. Usually of his feet or the carpet or the camera strap. He also just likes turning it on and then off, over and over. He will also leave little finger prints on the lens... and I don't realise they are there until after I've taken a dozen or so photos...

Walking. And holding my hand. It took some effort to get him to hold my hand while walking around, but he does it quite willingly now, and it is one of the best things ever. Especially when he puts his hand out for mine...

Jimmy likes getting into boxes of all sizes...

It can take a few goes...

And a bit of patience...

And then he looks at me or Michael and says "GO!"... He hasn't quite realised that not all boxes are created equal, and there are just some boxes that we simply cannot push around the apartment. No matter how insistent he is...

Mucking around with Dad. They play a little rougher than Jimmy and I do, which is good, because Jimmy needs the exertion (and Michael loves it), and the giggles... oh the giggles!

Jimmy has started moving things from one container to another, and back again or on to another container (or the floor). One night he took Michaels' empty bowl and started transferring his own dinner into it...

Anything will do... water from his cup into a bowl...

Or the last rose petals of the year...

Jimmy likes hanging out with us. He also likes being about to do thing we do, like walk about holding my mobile phone...

He has been enjoying the leaves on the ground and throwing the big blue ball on the tennis court...

Jimmy has been pretty good about being taken outside in almost any temperature... Here he is, when it was windy, icy, and I was hoping to catch some trick-or-treaters in action... we didn't see anyone, but it was cold...

Always the good helper, Jimmy wants a part in everything we do, even helping Dad attach the rear rack to his bicycle. We'll have him doing maintenance on his own little bicycle by the time he starts school...

Investigating, exploring, walking around, smiling and waving at strangers while Dad and Mum stand back and watch...

Although we stick close to him while he's on stairs...

Did I mention Jimmy's love of getting into boxes and saying "GO!"?

Jimmy also loves books, and through his love of books as come the love of hide-and-seek... one day Michael or I might remember to take a step back and take photo mid game... one day... when we're not engrossed in choosing the best hiding spots or making decoys...