Back to work: looking after myself...

I don't get enough sleep. I drink more coffee than I would like. I probably don't eat enough vegetables. I don't take the time to stretch or strengthen my muscles.

And I'm now working and Jimmy is still breastfeeding.

And I have a cold. It's not a bad one, the one I had while Grandma was here was worse, but I've still had to take time off work. There is a little of the changing seasons involved, putting another stress on my body, but it is the second cold I've had in a month and that's not cool.

So, what can I do? I can start by looking after me. As far as balancing my needs and my role as a mum, I think I have a fairly healthy balance (but I could still do with more sleep). Adding work into the mix has shaken things up and I need to rethink things.

Last week we started with Jimmy's night-time breastfeeding, mostly in response to two sleepless nights were I swear he spent more time feeding than sleeping and I don't sleep while he's breastfeeding, it just doesn't happen anymore. With Michael's help and support Jimmy is down to one night time feed, which happens around 3-4 am (I'm not including the bedtime breastfeeding or the first-thing-in-the-morning breastfeeding). The first few nights were rough, but now Jimmy is happy to have hugs when he wakes around midnight and he goes back to sleep. I'm calling it a win, but that 3-4 am breastfeed needs to go too... but it can wait a few more days.

Next on the list is my bedtime... I remember being good about sticking to a bedtime in highschool, but my parents might tell a different story. Whatever routine I had went out the window in the first few years of university and I just haven't managed to stick to a reasonable bedtime. It's always after 11 pm and it hasn't been working. Not for a very long time. Longer than I would like to admit. I went to bed a little after 10 pm last night, and it was good. A 10 pm bedtime is the dream, there is something magic about that number, at least in my head, and I'm beginning to think I really, really need to make it a priority and goal.

So, reducing Jimmy's night-time breastfeeding and going to bed earlier will help me get more sleep (and reduce my coffee intake somewhat). Now, for the veggies...

When I was at home, looking after Jimmy, we ate the same things, not always balanced but I think I was eating more as a stay-at-home-mum than I have been of late. There's point in the afternoons when I start getting sugar cravings, or protein cravings, and I'm hungry. I have been using coffee to fill this gap. Coffee with creamer... and it's a little gross. Tasty but gross. And when I get home and open the fridge, I see our jar of kimchi and all I can think about is hot rice, runny eggs, soy sauce, and kimchi. After eating about three bowls of rice, kimchi, and boiled eggs yesterday I think I have the craving quenched, but the combination now set to become my work afternoon tea.

Hopefully these steps (a little weaning, earlier to bed, a little more veg and protein) are what I need to start look after myself as the new normal stops needing the "new". A little more energy will make everything a little easier and get me out of bed early enough to do some stretches and see me through the afternoon slump.

The Currawongs Playground turns one!

We're one today! It's been a whole year since I posted this. Can you believe it? It's a little crazy.

It's also a little scary because it means that we are moving closer and closer to our departure date, unless Michael is offered another year here... I am looking forward to going home, it is just a little nerve-wracking to have no work lined up, and a little mouth with a big belly... Anyway...

The whole reason I started this blog was so that I could share our adventures (and misadventures) with family and friends back home, plus have a nice record of Jimmy's first year(s). I know I haven't shared absolutely every (this blogging thing takes time and energy), there is one story that needs to be here, but it just hasn't made it: Jimmy's birth story.

I've been thinking about sharing it for some time, but didn't manage to during the week of his birthday - I think I ran out of energy. Not long after he was born I wrote 2-3 versions of Jimmy's birth. Writing it was very theraputic at the time, sharing it was even more so, and hearing other birth stories also helped put things in perspective. I now have over 18 months of perspective and look back at those heady, hormonal days fondly, although I'll be the first to admit that birth hormones play tricks on birthing mothers minds...

Please be aware that I might get into some medical detail that will either a) gross you out or b) make you cranky because I've related some medical thingy wrong. If it's the latter, I should point out that I'm an ecologist, not a doctor, and this was my experience, my perception (with some details filled in by Michael and our midwife), and things might be different in your part of the world.

Oh and there may be a picture or two with blood in it - this is a birth story! And if you want a bit of a spoiler, check out this photo...

This is the birth story of Jimmy-bubba. 

Funtimes in KC!

As previously mentioned, we went to Kansas City (KC) last weekend. We had a really good time, ate too much, drank plenty of coffee, and enjoyed being in a big city*. But I know you want details, and photos too... Well, more than one photo...

We picked up our hire car on Friday afternoon, so that we could do some shopping that evening and get away when we wanted to on Saturday. Jimmy may have lost it when he realised that we had a car, a red car no less! It was a little small, but we managed to squeeze 3 adults, Jimmy, and our gear into the red Toyota Yaris. That is, after a sleep in, waffles, and general hanging around - our only deadline that day was making it to our hotel sometime after 3pm, so we left late, stopped to take photos of the Konza Prairie (see first photo), and had coffee in Topeka, after some lunch in the car.

On checking into our hotel, we were given the option of having the top floor and we took it. We had a pretty nice view, and started to feel like we were actually in a city. Not that we were under any illusions about the size of KC as we navigated our way to the hotel using a tourist road map of Kansas state, which misses a fair few streets etc, simply because of the scale of the map. Ah well...

For dinner we made our way to the Plaza. We had thought to take the hotels' shuttle bus, but it was booked up until far too late for Jimmy, so Asha drove us there. Finding a park was surprisingly easy, a nice lady went out of her way to tell us that we'd left a light on inside the car, and it it wasn't too cold to be walking around the streets looking for a place to eat that was vegetarian friendly, but cold enough that once we found somewhere suitable, we weren't in a hurry to leave. Actually, the first place we came to seemed suitable, and the smells coming from Brio Tuscan Grille were just a little irresistible.

Now, being parents, Michael and I forget that people like to go out on Saturday nights, Asha seemed to forget this too, because when we asked about a table for 3 (plus toddler), we were told there was a 1.5 hour wait (!!!!)... our hearts sank... but we were welcome to sit at the bar and order from the menu. We were all in shock that we had to ask for clarification about what we could order!

We took up a really good spot in the bar area, which was actually not very noisey, and our couch and lounge chairs created a safe place for Jimmy to move around in. The large, low, round table was perfect for keeping most things out of Jimmy's (ever expanding) reach, and we were able to enjoy a lovely dinner without the wait. Added bonuses were not getting funny looks for breastfeeding Jimmy, not getting funny looks for sitting on the floor while eating dinner, and little desserts that really were just the right size.

We were still pretty full once we were done, so we went for a little walk and took in the Christmas lights around the Plaza. We also found a dedicated vegetarian restaurant and promised to try it out the next night.

We all thought Jimmy was going to go to sleep... but no. Before convincing him to have a bath, he decided to play with the phones in our room...

And pull funny faces at Daddy...

And roll around on a bed with Aunty Asha, complaining about how much farts stink... He did have a bath, and he did go to bed at a suitable hour. Us, the adults, on the other hand, we may have stayed up a little on the late side, but not too late, although we still set an alarm so that we wouldn't be late for our breakfast booking...

At the Farmhouse! Michael and I were pretty excited to be going back there, and I think Granny was a little jealous. Asha was excited because she knew what she was ordering, even before we left Manhattan! (I had checked the menu and shown Asha before making the booking, because I wanted her to have something she could eat, as vegetarian options are sometimes rather lacking... She was pretty happy with what was on offer.)

Jimmy was pretty happy to be there too, but I think it was more that he had a fork he could pretend to vacuum the table with. Yes. You read that right. We sat down, set Jimmy up, ordered some coffee, and Jimmy says "C'uum!" while moving his fork back and forth... Obsessed? Hmmm...

We were all a little busy enjoying our breakfast to take photos. A bit like dinner really, and every other meal we had while in KC. But not too busy to take photos of Jimmy enjoying himself...

We did a spot of Geocache-ing after breakfast, although Asha and I were (initially) more interested in taking in the sites. I'm not sure why, but this part of KC reminds me of Melbourne... Michael and I quite like both places.

It wasn't exactly warm...

But this bridge is pretty cool...

And there were trains on another bridge, and ice floating down the Missouri River...

That's right, ice. It is winter after all.

The bridge is the site of a few Geocaches, that we didn't find, even with Jimmy helping, so we gave into the cold, and went to Quay Coffee, after a quick look at the Markets - they were open, indoors, and heated.

Jimmy went to sleep after we had our coffees, so Asha and Michael went off to get those Geocaches, while I enjoyed a second cup of coffee. Sitting down. In peace and quiet.

It was pretty amazing, and relaxing too. Michael and Asha didn't have a phone, so I had to stay where I was, so that they could find Jimmy and me when they were done. And when they did come back, after finding 4 Geocaches, Jimmy was still asleep. He woke up not long after they had returned and we headed off to the next thing. Which turned out to be a visit to the Aquarium!

Initially we had thought to go to the zoo, but all 3 adults thought the aquarium might be more fun for Jimmy. And I think we were right.

I'm certain we were right. The Aquarium was indoors, so we didn't have to worry about the cold, and we could all get a lot closer to the animals too. I'm not sure that Jimmy understands what fish are, but he was pretty fascinated, and loved the touch pool, although I think that had more to do with splashing water everywhere than anything else...

We, the adults, had fun too, even though it was challenging to take good photos of the animals - the fish move faster than Jimmy and the turtle was plain shy... When we did emerge from the Aquarium, we noticed puddles of water (and ice) on the pavement, and were very glad to have been inside and not out at the zoo, where we might have had trouble missing the rain.

We had a quick bite to eat and then headed back to the hotel (after another attempt at finding a nearby Geocache). As we were feeling a little more comfortable with the area, and because we wanted to go to a specific restaurant for dinner, we did some preparations. Namely, we found out what was open, and what was on the menu. We didn't book anything, just went. And we ended up at Coal Vines for pizza and wine.

It was lovely and we had the best table. Right next to the pizza chef and pizza oven: they have glass from just above the bench to the ceiling, allowing the pizza making to be a real show. The staff were lovely, and the chef even gave Jimmy a piece of pizza dough to play with. It was a bit messy, but Jimmy had a great time. As did we, and we ended up eating far too much... which resulted in another walk around a different part of the Plaza.

The next morning we slept in, had the hotel buffet breakfast, checked out, and make our way to Oddly Correct Coffee Bar (after another side trip to the rather troublesome cache... which was not found).  

Coffee... and a plain donut. Actually, it's not just a coffee, it's a flat white. In a glass. It was rather like an Australian latte.

Michaels' latte resembled a flat white, something we've come to accept, just like: the winter sun being in the south, not the north; Christmas being in winter, not summer; and cars travel on the righthand side of the road, not the lefthand side. We still order latte's, but they come in ceramic cups, and not glasses.

Our coffees were very good. Actually, the Oddly Correct crew are so confident that their coffee is good, that they don't offer sugar or creamer for their pour overs. That said, their milky coffees are made on whole milk (yay!), which I think is also true for Quay Coffee, and Arrow Coffee Co. We'll be heading there again, if we make it back to KC.

After our lovely coffees, and a little birthday present for Michael, we headed home, via the scenic route when we realised that we didn't have enough change for the toll. Plus Asha, who was driving, wanted to see more of the countryside. Once back in Manhattan, we managed to unload the car, do the week's' grocery shopping, and return the car in little over an hour.

We had a really lovely time. It was great to get away, break up the routine, see a few new places, and hang out together without the distractions of home (housework, computers, the vacuum). I hope that Michael, Jimmy and I get another chance to go back to KC before we leave the USA, but it won't quite be the same without Asha.


*We have it from one local that KC is a small big city, making it a very livable city - we think it's bigger than Brisbane... possibly bigger than Melbourne...

My tongue hurts...

Today a friend took Jimmy and me to spend some time at the local gymnastics hall, that opens its door to young children and their carers for $5 (possibly per child, not sure). For an hour and a half the children can run around on the soft springy floors, bounce on trampolines, climb, tumble, and crawl around, and swim in the foam block pool (it probably has a technical name...). I left the camera at home because Jimmy has been a little clingy of late (molars are coming in... soo.... slowwly), and I wanted to just be there with him and our friends. We'll be heading back at some point, but what I want to share has less to do with Jimmy and more to do with an interaction I had with a woman there...

This woman is a grandmother of two boys. One is a little older than Jimmy, the other one is a mere 3 months old and was all the wide eyed, smiley, and chubby limbed. She was doing a pretty good job of keeping both of them happy.

There was a particularly squishy spot and she had tried to carry both boys across... but that wasn't happening, so she'd put down the little one (most children there were actually really good at the whole physical-awareness/not-running-over-little-ones thing). Jimmy headed over in that direction and was looking at the little one*, and she and I started talking.

The grandmother started telling me how her daughter had been able to take a long maternity leave, and was now managing to work 2 days at her workplace and do the rest at home...

So, my mind was reeling... "long maternity leave" and the baby is only 3 months old... "long..." but I had to remind myself that the US has really poor maternity leave, if it has any, and if it does, it wouldn't be paid.

And because of this long maternity leave the baby was "addicted to breast milk"...

I bit my tongue. ADDICTED TO BREAST MILK? AT 3 MONTHS? ARE YOU JOKING?!!! It's the ONLY food babies need at that age**!!

At 17 months, Jimmy could be considered to be addicted to breast milk, but he's still younger than the international average weaning age (WHO), so you know, whatevs, but 3 months? Addicted to breast milk? That's how it should be!

Oh...

It wasn't long before Jimmy and I moved away and on to the next thing. A little while later, Jimmy pointed to my chest requesting boobie. Yep. He's addicted to breast milk. I could have gone to our bag and given him a snack, but my milk producing breasts were right there.

...

I'm not judging this grandmother exclusively, I'm judging the mainstream attitudes to breastfeeding in the USA and the lack of support that is available for mothers to breastfeed their babies to 6 months, and even 12 months. There are states here where breastfeeding in public is not allowed or only when certain criteria are met. Even our GP here bemoans the low rates of breastfeeding in the US, and basically gave me a pat on the back for making it to 12 months, and I'm sure he thinks I'm an oddity, in that I'm still breastfeeding Jimmy.

Something very wrong took place in this country 20-30 years ago, and it's still going on, and it results in people thinking a 3 month old is addicted to its natural food source... And no, this grandmother wasn't joking because she went on to tell me how little he'd taken from the bottle and there was no humour in her tone.

I bit my tongue because I didn't want to create a scene, because I didn't know the whole story, because I'm a foreigner, and because I didn't want to be on the receiving end of a "well, what would you know?" tirade. Clearly the whole interaction still bothers me, because I'm writing about it.

I wish all mothers had access to 12 months maternity leave, good information regarding breastfeeding, and good support networks so that they can breastfeed (almost exclusively) to 6 months and for as long as they want afterwards. Is that too much to ask, or are my own choices and decisions affecting my perception of motherhood?

It's not always easy being a stay-at-home-mum. It's not always fun. Yet, I can do without the shiny things I might be able to buy if I happened to be doing paid work, because Jimmy is turning into a wonderful little person, even if he is a boobie monster who may never wean because he is addicted to breast milk, an addiction that started very young, and it's an addiction I am happy to accommodate (for now...). I wish others could be as happy as I am when babies are addicted to things that are good for them...

Yeah... my tongue hurts.


*It was actually a little crazy to see Jimmy with a 3 month old, because he's just so much bigger and yet he was that little once upon a time... Oh my heart...

**It is, but if you're reading this, and you have/have had issues with supply and are using/have used formula, please know that I would do the same if I had to.

Winter came knocking...

As I mentioned yesterday, it's been snowing...

On Saturday we woke up to snow!!!!!!! It was actually snowing!!!!! Light, gentle, slowly falling snow!

There was no way I was staying inside and missing this (Michael initially hid under the covers, but changed his mind).

So, we got rugged up and went out and enjoyed the snow while it's still novel.

Jimmy had a little trouble on the stairs in all his layers, but he did well and made it down without much trouble, thanks to a helping hand from Dadee.

We weren't the first ones out in it, but we were close enough and in some places we were the first (yay!).

The snow wasn't particularly thick, but it was a good introduction for Jimmy. It certainly changed his favourite rock garden.

Naturally there were a few stumbles, but that's normal these days as Jimmy recalibrates how to walk in 3+ layers, with or without snow. Actually, this was the first time Jimmy had gone outside in the Muddlarks a cousin gave us (along with a good selection of clothes that has saved us from buying jumpers, thermals, long sleeve tops, and gloves - and yes, we brought them all with us from Australia), and they were great! Jimmy's legs stayed nice and dry, and presumably warm. We double gloved his little hands too, and his fingers were still warm when we came home.

It was such a quiet morning, even though it was after 9 am. The world seemed to be sleeping, yet it was snowing. It was a little magical.

Michael took this lovely one of Jimmy and me*. It's kinda weird seeing picture of us walking together because he's still so little, yet he's growing so fast.

Our coats caught snowflakes, we crunched the fresh snow with our shoes and in our gloved hands, made a little snow man, and yes, Jimmy decided to eat some too.

I think it's fairly safe to say that Jimmy enjoyed the snow, or at least the excitement and attention of his parents (we kept pointing our cameras in his face because, you know, snow).

We weren't out for long, probably less than an hour, but it was warmer than it has been lately, and it was lovely. We stayed inside for the rest of the day as we had no reason or inclination to go out.

The snow turned to rain, and the sun set.

Sunday morning we woke to even more snow! It had snowed overnight, but the clouds were starting to clear. So, we headed out for our first snowy trip to the shops before the snow turned to mush.

 Michael and I were very excited to see rabbit footprints in the snow just outside out apartment.

Michael was happy with how his bike handled in the conditions.

The snow was thicker on Sunday than on Saturday, but it still wasn't enough to completely cover the grass.

Jimmy was pretty cold by the time we arrived but that's the difference between walking around and being worn (something for me to keep in mind). After helping to push the trolley around he warmed up and was kinda happy to be worn home.

And we did well: somehow I managed to breastfeed Jimmy; and neither Michael nor I slipped on any ice!

According to the forecast we're not going to get much more until Christmas, so I'm glad we made the most of what little there was. And I'm glad it wasn't bitterly cold or super windy for Jimmy's first experience of snow.

*I'll tell you about my hat soon.

Pride before a fall...

We had Jimmy's 12 month checkup and vaccinations last week. I have to admit I was a little sad that we weren't seeing our GP in Brisbane. Ah well, the doctor we saw was friendly and we had a good chat. Of course Jimmy was weighed and measured by a nurse before we actually saw the doctor and another nurse administered the jabs, but at least the room we were in had windows and we didn't have to wait more than 5 minutes between seeing each of them, unlike our experience when I had mastitis.

Jimmy was really good while the nurse weighed and measured him - no squirming or fussing (win #1) - and

Wow...

Jimmy turned 1 this week. Yes. That's right. One year old. This photo was taken not long after Jimmy was born, just over a year ago.

Jimmy has been around the Sun one whole rotation since he was pulled from my belly, kicking and screaming (no, really, he screamed at the indignity of being so cold and exposed after the warmth of my uterus). He still kicks and screams, mostly when we wont let him do something, i.e. brush his teeth when he's only just cleaned them. Yep, that's my boy.

And that's just it: he's so much more boy now than baby. Oh don't get me wrong, he still likes being nursed to sleep, he's still in nappies, and he still can't walk. All of that will change in the next year. And then he'll be even further from the squishy, vernix covered, pink thing that he was when the doctors held him up for me to see, placenta still attached, telling the World that he had arrived (read: screaming newborn).

Words have been flowing in my head all week, describing how it all feels, what it's been like, what this little person means to Michael and me. Words flowing like a river, freely and fast, but my hands just haven't been able to catch them and transfer them to text. Like water, the words slip through my fingers before I get anywhere near a computer or paper and pen, and then they are gone and I'm left with the sensation but none of the substance. And then I look at Jimmy.

I look at Jimmy and my heart swells, it spills over with love and joy.

And then, on his birthday, as I was nursing him to sleep for his morning nap, and one word stuck. One simple, little word that always holds so much in its three letters, but it's not my word, and I didn't hear it in my voice.

It's a word my Auntie K uses when she's impressed with something, be it food, artwork, knitting or anything handmade, and she said it while sitting across from Jimmy and me, while we were all in Warwick for my Mum's birthday. In that one word she captured all the emotion of motherhood, all the joy and pride of a grandmother, all the realisations daughters have when they are become mothers and look at their parents in a new light, plus the added delight at watching Jimmy. And that word?

"Wow"

Happy Birthday little man! (More birthday related posts to come.)

Top photo taken by a theater nurse at the Royal Brisbane Women's Hospital, using Michael's camera. All the others were taken by Michael.