21/52

"a portrait of my son, once a week, every week of 2014"

Jimmy: basically in his happy place, eating a bit of his mumma's croissant, waiting for the bus home after an interesting but annoying experience, as a storm rolls in. Fun times.

Photo credit goes to Michael, who took this in the Dillons East car park and the background is typical of what we see in Manhattan, KS. There is a lot of room for cars to park in this town, there is a lot of grass around the parking lots, not much in the way of gardens, just grass and trees, with big buildings sticking out. We were all tired and ready to go home after our first experience with the US medical system on Friday. What I thought was mastitis turned out to be just that and as Friday morning wore on I knew I was going to have to see a doctor, for antibiotics, before the weekend. The experience is worth its own post (watch this space). It was worth it because I got the antibiotics and the mastitis has cleared up, and the blockages have cleared up too.

21/52 means that we're close to halfway through the year. Eep! Having gone from early Autumn to early Spring and now heading into Summer, I feel the year is just starting up but I guess that's what happens when you grow up in the Southern Hemisphere. In a week or so we'll be another month down in our stay in Manhattan, KS. And before we know it, Jimmy will be celebrating his first birthday...

The 6 week slump...

The view from our front yard in Vaoala, Samoa, 2008

About 6 years ago I sitting on the grass in our front yard in Vaoala, looking at this view, and bawling my eyes out, crying into Michael's shoulder. He doesn't remember it, but I do because I was the one crying. We'd been in Samoa for 6 weeks and I was hitting the "6 week slump" hard. We had been warned, probably at our Pre-Departure Training (PDT) for the Australian Youth Ambassadors for Development (AYADs) in Canberra, that at about 6 weeks we would probably have a little breakdown, not be happy with things, want to throw in the towel, etc. etc., but this was normal and things would improve.

Looking at this photo, I find it hard to imagine ever being unhappy there. Samoa is a beautiful country, and where we lived for most of that year was possibly one of the best spots around Apia, and for the most part, Michael and I loved it there.

But I was miserable that afternoon. Just plain miserable. It wasn't that I wanted to go home and I wasn't really homesick, but I missed my anonymity, I just wanted to be able to walk around Apia without having guys call out "hey pretty" or "want a Samoan boyfriend"* or similar, I was probably frustrated with our limited internet access, I missed public toilets that came with toilet paper and soap as standard features, I missed being able to go where I wanted when I wanted because I was a little scared of the dogs in the area, I wanted to be able to eat whatever and not have to worry about whether or not it would make me sick, and I was probably a little over not being about to drink water straight from a tap.

Well, I hit slump last night. We've been here for just over 7 weeks, but Michael has been at work for 6 weeks now, so we've been living this new rhythm for just on 6 weeks. I'm still a little that way today, so writing about it at length isn't easy, so I'll be brief: family and friends know that you are missed; JNY, our car, you are missed but not by Jimmy (sorry...); our bicycles, oh how we miss you; Brisbane City Council buses you are also missed, as are you, foamy cafe latte's. It's mostly the physical isolation and not having spent much time with another young mum in a month or more, but a good cry and a pledge to go to bed before 10 pm from now on, plus plans to finally contact the playgroup people and hire a car for next weekend, and I'm getting there. Michael is not entirely happy either, so provided we get work in Australia for next year, we'll only be away from home for 12 months.

Oh and I think I have mastitis, which doesn't help... and Jimmy is a drooling, teething mess with only 2 teeth to show for it...

It's been a rough few weeks, but we're still alive, with food in our bellies and cupboards, a solid apartment to live in, and a good internet connection.

*I need to say that Samoans are lovely people, and that it is a safe country to visit, and that these invitations were always made in good humour and never with any malice, but it was annoying.

Cheap thrills: Oxtail stew

This rich, delicious, definitely not low fat, dish was worth all the time it took to cook, the hours smelling the spices, the rich meat and bone marrow, and... oh let's just say it was yummy and hearty and very, very satisfying. Here's the link to original recipe, because it's not mine.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, a week after this, after waking up from a nap (I like naps, had you noticed?), I started cooking about 0.66 kg of oxtail with probably 0.3 kg beef mince as per the recipe, with a few chances... As I had half amount of meat, I used half of everything else, but without the wine, using vegetarian stock cubes and a few carrots, powdered cinnamon, and fennel seeds instead of star anise. It took a long time to cook, so we didn't have it for dinner that night. But the house smelt great.

Instead, after straining the stock, mashing the onion through the sieve and retaining the carrot, and removing the meat from the bones, the stock, onion, carrots, and meat was combined and stored overnight in the fridge. The sight that greeted me the next morning was lovely: the fat had risen to the top of the container, creating a lovely thick layer over everything else, just like I remember my Mum getting, when she did similar things. Oh the fat was easy to remove! (And save...) Oh and the marrowbone jelly that was under it... wibble-wobble...

But all that jelly had to be reduced... but I didn't do it all at once, oh no. Just about 1/4 of what I'd made when into the first real tasting, another 1/4 went into the freezer for much later, 1/4 went with Michael for lunch the next day (no extra attention), and the final 1/4 went into the fridge for later in the week. It took a while for that jelly to reduce. I can't remember how long for that first night, but the second time it seemed to take forever...

Once the sauce was reduced I sifted a generous teaspoon of cocoa over the stew, instead of the chocolate, and mixed well. When it looked right, and my stomach couldn't handle it any longer, I served it with... I honestly can't remember. I'm sure peas were involved. Perhaps some other greens too... But it was sprinkled with parsley and devoured by all three of us.

Oh it was good... So good in fact, that later that week when I used what was in the fridge, I also used the 1/4 of stew that was in the freezer... Admittedly, as I was a little unwell, my eyes may have been bigger than our stomachs... And I may not have let it reduce long enough, but I did remember to take photos of the stew as it was served, this time with mashed potato, with onion, fennel root, and broccoli stems. We still ate it. All of it. And yes, Jimmy approved.

Jimmy's serve...

... mostly made it into his belly.

The cost of living...

Metric measuring cups, $2.99 from Goodwill (imperial ones cost $0.49)

When was the last time you took a good long look at your finances? No, not just scanning your bank statement, but actually writing down what you spend on day-to-day living - when was the last time you did this?

Me? I've never really done it, until now. A few years ago Michael spent about 6 months entering every dollar he spent and where it went and came up with a very pretty and interesting Excel spreadsheet, with pretty graphs showing his savings going up. I might have the patience for knitting, but I wasn't really interested in doing something so... tedious?

As the "home maker" Michael has charged me with such a task, because we have been living off our savings for the past 4-5 months, and really don't want to dip into our savings now that Michael is being paid (yay!!). We're actually hoping to save money. Strangely enough, doing it fairly simply, it is actually interesting and reassuring to see where our money is going.

Now, I'm only using broad terms like: food; eating out; rent; utilities; hygiene (although this sort of comes under household items); alcohol; clothes/home (which includes crockery etc, linen, shoes, books, computer and camera bits, wool...); and touristy activities. Initially there was also a column for establishment costs, just to keep a record of how much it has cost to set up our apartment, even in the little we have done, because it'll give us some idea of how much we'll be spending on that sort of thing when we come back to Australia*. There are no columns for: living on a very low income and savings for 4-5 months; US Visa processes. Needless to say these two columns would be scary.

So, after about 1.5 months living in Manhattan, KS, I think we'll be ok... but we've been a little overwhelmed by the whole process and may not have always been thrifty as possible, i.e. we were buying 1/2 gallons (1.89 litres) of organic whole milk for $3.50, when 1 gallon (3.78 litres) of the home brand whole milk costs $3. That's all part of the learning curve, just like finding bread without sugar and learning that Acetaminophen is Paracetamol.

Once we've been here for a few more months I think we'll have a better idea of where we can save money on food and minimise food waste, buy in bulk for stockpiling, and minimise water and electricity usage. For now we're focusing on eating as simply and cheaply as possible without compromising our health, making do with what we have, buying second hand where possible and lower-mid range where it's not (in the hope that these items will last the year), cheap thrills, and, as Michael would say, not dying.

And if we can afford to pay $2.99 for measuring cups, when we already have imperial measuring cups ($0.49 from the Salvation Army shop), for my sanity (not just because they're pretty), I think we might even be able to travel a little outside Manhattan, KS. But we still have to watch the money.

*We have some homely things in storage, so the cost of re-establishment should be less, but there will still be costs involved.

20/52

"a portrait of my son, once a week, every week of 2014"

Jimmy: sleeping, drool and a little milk on his cheek. 

There's not much else in this world like a sleeping baby, and while he looks more and more grown up everyday Jimmy is still very much my baby. He's started having long afternoon naps, and by long I mean 1.5-2 hr naps, which for a baby who would only have 20 mins at a time, it's a long nap. And sometimes I naps with him, something I've been doing a bit of late. Naps are nice.

Jimmy has brought so much light and laughter into what has been a low week, I can't begin to imagine how I would have coped. Michael has been great too, and hasn't complained about me forgetting to make coffee for his lunches, or even failing to cook something that would produce leftovers for lunch. Phone calls etc with family back in Australia have been lovely too.

Take a moment...

Take a moment to remember family and friends. Take a moment to tell them that they are in your thoughts, that you love them. Work out how to spend more time with them, if you don't see them as often as you think you should. And take a moment to remember those who you can no longer spend time with.

A very special man passed away this week and because he went out on limb 18 years ago (yes, Dad, I worked it out), my family and I, had the privilege of knowing him. One phone call was all it took. I am very glad for that phone call, and I think my father, mother, brother, and sister are too. Our lives are richer for the actions of this man, and the warmth he and his wife, and their daughters, brought with them on our first meeting. There are many, many fond memories.

Michael and I are thinking of you all, our family back home in Australia. Ursi, Nick, Juliette, Lani, we wish could be with you, and the rest of the family, to help celebrate David.

Mother's Day...

It's Mother's Day, but I've never really done much for it. Ever. It's just something my family doesn't really do. Same goes for Father's Day. My parents aren't overly fussed because both my Dads' and my Mums' parents thought both were "too American", plus Mother's Day always falls close to my brothers' birthday, so that weekend is usually spent celebrating him. (Here are more reasons not to make too much fuss.) We still say "Happy Mother's Day" and "Happy Father's Day", but we rarely do anything more than that.

This isn't to say we don't show our appreciation for our parents, we just did it everyday, while we were all living at home, usually more than once a day. Everyday was ended with "G'night, love you", unless Dad had slipped off to bed while we were watching something he didn't want to watch. Birthdays were, and still are, celebrated, my parents wedding anniversary is always marked in some way or other, and Christmas is always a family day, where presents are thoughtfully chosen to help us show our appreciation. I still tell my parents that I love them at the end of every phone call. If it's done daily, why go to all that fuss and stress because someone in a marketing department decided it was a good idea?

While Michael and I were in Samoa as Australian Youth Ambassadors for Development, way back in 2008, we saw how the Samoans do Mother's Day and Father's Day. Mother's Day was huge. Just huge. There was cake and celebrations and gifts. Father's Day was a little quieter, but it was still bigger there than in Australia. Bigger still was White Sunday, or Children's Day. It was really, really huge. Everyone wore white, the children put on a show for their parents at their churches, the children were given new clothes and shoes, and just generally showered with attention. And Christmas Day? It was a religious celebration, nothing much more than that, because all of the present giving had been done during the year. There's a part of me that likes it that way. Birthdays are still celebrated in Samoa, but Mother's Day, Father's Day, and White Sunday are national celebrations, and the fuss seemed welcome and truly festive.

So, what are we doing? Well, I've been feeling a little run down, I think it's a cold, and Michael is a bit tired, so we're keeping things to a minimum. Friday evening we talked to my brother, sister, Mum, and Dad, because they were all together for my brothers' birthday. Saturday saw Michael looking after Jimmy for 30 minutes here, an hour there, giving me some alone time. And it's been lovely. I'm still a little run down, but I've been able to nap with the whole bed to myself, clean the bathroom without worrying that Jimmy will wake up when I turn on a tap (it happens...), and cook dinner without constant interruptions requests for my attention. Plus Michael made me pancakes both Saturday and Sunday. Me time, plus pancakes? It's the best Mother's Day gift.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend, whatever you're doing.